i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
