So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
