**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
