My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
