About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I cut my penus on the lid.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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