It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
try to milk me bitch
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