Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
