just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
