Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
