I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
