there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
