he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
