so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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