if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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