it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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