Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
