you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
