Sry I called you an 8
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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