im gay
i know
yea but for you.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
