you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
