Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my shit smells like andre
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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