Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
They took my balls.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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