No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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