Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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