TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
