direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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