Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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