I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
