I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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