New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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