She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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