where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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