So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
