i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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