I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize