she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize