is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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