It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize