I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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