White coat. Heels.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
