You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
