im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
the raccoons are back...
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