My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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