Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
