I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
