That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think I won the penis lottery.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
