Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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