Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
