first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
