so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
