Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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