u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
