I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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