What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize