i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize