tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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