I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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