capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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