so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
