I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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