maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
