I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
